1. Man, you probably WANT a girl who doesn't snort cocaine. Aside from saving you money in the long run, she will just be a better person if she's not coked up all the fucking time. Women who do drugs don't respect themselves, therefore will never be able to respect you, and you're a man so respect should come by default.		1. After much experience, these cocaine whores will start asking for it in the ass after three weeks, therefore you should want her! Let her snort blow . . . it can only benefit you in the bedroom/on camera. You have no future with the coke whore, but when a man looks into the forecast of his life, should a woman really be in the picture anyway?
2. Does she have any kids? If so and you have that loving chromosome in your head to tolerate kids, good for you. But you probably want a girl who actually has custody of her child and not some biweekly parent who sees her son/daughter when it's convenient. Every woman on the planet lives by what's convenient for them; the ones who have at least stuck around for the easy role that is playing mommy should be given some credit.		2. You should opt the druggie. She might pick up her kid the 5th of every month and shun him into a dark bedroom while you fuck her, which is great because it will never be expected of you to be a stepdaddy. Be forewarned, though: if she treats her kid worse than you . . . it is a long road to Hell for you in the coming weeks.
3. You'll likely be searching for a woman who doesn't bring up past boyfriends quite often; a girl who is in touch with reality and realizes you are NOT the one who raped/beat/cheated on her, therefore you won't have to pay any taxes/emotional fees because of her mental status. It's in a woman's nature to pawn off responsibilities to the undeserving because they're inherently lazy and perfect in their fantasyland of a head. Search for one who can not only spell "accountability," but also practices it.		3. You should want a victim of sexual abuse because it makes every week with her a new experience. She will often take her bullshit out on you because of what's been done onto her in the past, which is always a challenge and keeps things fresh even though you haven't done a single fucking thing wrong. Remember, you're a man and a god of some sort made you perfect. In comparison to women, we glow in perfection.
4. You want a girl whose bad habits consist of sleeping in late on Saturdays, extensive shopping once a month on Sundays, and the dishes are unorthodoxly NOT done every couple months. Essentially one who doesn't believe the sofa to be a throne of some sort as to exemplify her natural state of sloth.		4. You should want a female counterpart who gets home at 5:47 A.M. four nights out of the week, because that means you can slap her around without the fear of having the police show up. She will just accept the lashings as if they were a series of flashcards teaching her that she's a piece of shit.
5. One probably wants a girl who has a small but precise adaptation of the Bible and its meaning, if for nothing else than to guide her through the treacherous paths that her three holes will befall victim to.		5. In retrospect, you should like a woman who screams, "Oh my fucking god, fuck my ass, mother fucker! I'm your dirty slut. Come in my ass, you piece of fucking shit!" Have fun with this one and don't take it too seriously because it will never last physically - - - Mentally, more specifically since a woman's thoughts inevitably dribble out her mouth as absolute dross in the form of a voice, which cuts the "timeshare" you have on her pussy in half right away.
6. The girl you want drinks alcohol at card parties. She doesn't know how to play bar dice and has no idea what you mean when this falls from your lips, "Where's the shot girl?" This particular sweetie doesn't work in a bar of any kind, because if she does, she's a whore.		6. You should want a chick who takes tequila from another woman's tits and insists she hasn't dyked out in the bathroom while somebody shouted out, "last call!" She's a liar. And a drunk. You should want her.
7. You'll want a woman who is at your parent's house and doesn't partake in sexual banter publically. She'll sequester you in the corner and say, "Hey, can we keep that between us? You're making me feel uncomfortable."		7. One should bring a girl over who laughs at all sexual innuendos, then a half hour later asks, "Are we gonna play truth or dare or what?" <---Ass sex whore, for sure. Take her in the basement and fuck her while everyone else is eating.
8. Keep digging in the wonderful world of broads and you'll find the silent type during sex. She'll typically keep her eyes closed during sex because she's mildly ashamed your penis is in her. This goes against her "code" because you haven't suggested marrying her yet. She's boring, yet faithful (if women can be such a thing.) You might want her.		8. If she's piss drunk and suggests you break out the camcorder, great, you should want her! Have her blow you in a public place just so you can revisit the establishment in four weeks with a different girl. I call this, "Vicariously living through myself . . . last month."
9. You want a girl who you can buy a promise ring for, doesn't cheat on you, thereafter an engagement band of some sort. A wise man once told me, "Put her through the eight-year test. If she hasn't fucked up or drastically lied, marry her." Eight years is a quite the stretch for a woman to not fuck up in a major fashion. It's a plausible idea on paper, but theoretically impossible since women are more predestined to fuck up than they are to bleed for seven days.		9. You SHOULD land a stripper bitch who will take a $400 pawn shop ring and pronounce to fellow strippers, "I'm getting married!" It's their emotions that get them into predicaments such as this because it is a broad's feelings that are the source of every fuck-up every woman has ever fucked up. Remember, a woman's feelings bouncing all over her brain is like a go-cart running on diesel, which means something is going to fuck up, and women have inattentively mastered the art of fucking something up that was already fucked.
10. You WANT a girl who txt messages you shit like, "LOL, your so funny!" "How was your day, sweetie?" or "Just thinking of you, xoxo." They're void of reason and personality, yet are less likely to polish their philandering mastery. They might experience a "beholden" thorn jabbing at them and buy you lunch one day since you obviously pay for everything else; Naturally since you're a man therefore are wealthier than she.		10. You should date a chick who txts you, "I'll be there in 15 minutes. Leave the door open 4 me." They've lied to you within the last 48 hours and/or entertained the idea of sleeping with someone else, but they're whores so it's okay. You SHOULD want them.
11. A man wants to aspire to a woman who can admit when she's wrong. If this even exists, I have no idea, but statistically speaking they have to be out there somewhere. I've only seen it in movies, but at least Hollywood is trying to teach these women that they can overcome their own adversities with a little more of something called "effort" and a little less of something we call, "bend over."		11. You should want a broad who panics and sits around for a man to fix everything she fucks up in life. She's dependent upon your logic, and since her father is likely already tired of her shit, if you're not there for this heartbeat of uselessness she will just sob and blow snot everywhere until you make it okay because she's reasonless. It's only by the grace of God she can wipe herself properly, but afterwards you can fuck her thereby in her brain it will seem like lovemaking.
12. For the long haul, try for a woman who already knows she's not as talented as you behind the wheel of a car. The type of woman who willingly admits parallel parking is as mentally challenging as algebraic formulas. She accepts her role as the weaker-minded of the two in the car, giggles about it and goes on about her day comforted by the security blanket in her head that she's pretty and that's all that really matters . . . because really, that's all that matters.		12. You should definitely want a bitch who drinks and drives recklessly because if she doesn't care about tickets, jail, car wrecks and the overall status of her very own safety, she will take it in the ass with minimal effort on your part just like the whore she is. Remember, you SHOULD want this girl.
13. Strive for a woman with little or no tattoos. This girl will attempt to show you the essence of her self-worth verbally instead of plastering it on her body. Obviously this woman is still void of rational thoughts simply because of her sex, but yet has enough unadulterated brain cells to tell her conscience that permanent tattoos only draw unneeded attention. She might not fuck like her sister, but this one likely has more class, and class is a rare but albeit good thing in a lady therefore you want her.		13. The more arcane, pseudo-tribal shit scarring her body, the better. Give this broad four lifetimes as a poltergeist and she still won't have the tracking abilities to "find herself" because she's of birdbrain heritage, but you can fuck her in a car if it came down to it because she's a whore. You should want her, dude . . . "should" being the operative word.
14. You want a woman whose calls you won't ignore after a few weeks. Best to speak with her despite already knowing whatever she's about to reveal has about a 92% chance of not being relevant to your interests. Anything a woman has to say could theoretically be wrapped up in two sentences because A: Women aren't profoundly interesting, and B: Men develop temporary ADD somewhere near the third word in the second sentence, so elude erroneous verbiage whenever possible.		14. You definitely should wish for a psycho bitch who leaves five-minute long diatribes on your voicemail because this means she's infatuated with your cock. Take her one-way monologue that seems so critical and have your friends listen because they will surely want to fuck her next, and you want them to fuck her next as oppose to on your watch. Additionally, the nut-bags who leave absurdly long messages, the upshot is that she's a stalker, and those are cool for your ego. (But you're not a woman, so your ego should already be overflowing.)
15. Finding a woman who keeps complaints to a minimum is similar to that of a quest for a puppy that doesn't shit indoors. Remember, "complaining" is the weathervane to a woman's underlying disdain and hatred towards anything and everyone on the planet. You'll want a woman who you can say: "Baby, I don't expect you to love me when you don't even like yourself," then afterwards she doesn't cower chagrined. If she doesn't respect/like who she is, you don't stand a chance at sharing a one-month anniversary let alone an entire fucking year.		15. You should want a woman who not only bitches at you on the regular, but as well talks shit about her "friends" and family. This cunt hates everyone because there's a deep-seeded circuit that has malfunctioned in her brain, and this absent pulse should be tapping "Everything is okay, Dear," but in its absence seems now everyone doesn't pay her enough attention, respect or give her enough money. What ensues is a calamity of reason and rationality that everyone sucks and would be a sniveling wanderer without her presence. You can't help her; just laugh at her outbursts after a week when cumming on her has become a banal experience and show her the door. More importantly the lock on it.
16. You want a woman who doesn't give you the best blowjob you've ever had. This is also a good weathervane where the results attribute to how many shafts have been in her mouth. If not that, then how often she plays knob-slobber. The best blowjob of your life shouldn't have happened yet because you're not married. And if you are . . . I'm sure there is a short list of benefits you can write out for yourself since time machines have yet to exist.		16. You should want a woman who can withdraw semen from your testicles as if her throat were a damp sponge. In her mind, piss and creamy-liquid Haldol should be the only two things shooting from your cock as to make her retain sanity, and if it's the latter, you and she both know she needs her medicine. Well, on second thought, piss in her mouth if you get the opportunity. Why? Because she was already a cum-dumpster . . . Why not attempt the turning of her into a urinal puck within a matter of seconds? You ask "Why?" I ask "Why not?" Simple.
17. You want a woman who believes the relationship is 50/50. (We all know because of our penis it's automatically 81/19; let's not sugarcoat her to the point of it being a pop-up book Cinderella story, c'mon now.)		17. You should want a broad who knows damn-well she's inferior to your manly prowess. After you've finished seeding strippers and whores, you should definitely want a baby-making machine. "Pregnancy" is a woman's defense mechanism against employment because they all know having a real job means work, and work means responsibilities <--- and when we put that word in the same sentence as "female" all fucking Hell breaks loose then a man has to pick up the pieces after a woman fucks up as destined. Women can't even pay bills; they just don't understand the concept so in return should not have jobs. Except when a vacuum is involved.