My son's mother just can't leave me alone, and I send her a check every month but I'm growing increasingly sickened by donating to a charity I don't like. Now, naturally I'm forced to see my son every Christmas and it's basically assumed I send him an extra hundred for his birthday, which I'm completely sick and tired of as well. I don't see this "sweet child o mine" so naturally giving my baby mamma money for him is something similar to sending Sally Struthers a donation so she can eat more fucking sandwiches while the kids likely get mere rations.
I've seen him like 5 times in 4 years: holidays and a funeral. I have to admit, I was invited to his basketball and baseball games on several occasions. Neat (two thumbs down.) Sure, I was invited to his sporting events; I couldn't attend. I was either drunk, pretending to be drunk, sleeping, or pretending to be sleeping while drunk. Since watching professional athletes already bores me, why would I want to see some uncoordinated teenager do the same irksome recreation at a lamer pace?
This chick didn't do shit but tell me she was eating salads, yet when I fucked her doggy-style it always felt like I was herding cattle; go ahead and judge me. Point is, I cannot help that your god equated orgasms with possible conception. These chicks are taught about their reproductive systems in middle school, therefore any broad who unintentionally becomes pregnant after the age of 13, it's inarguably her fault.
I'm a man and if you disagree then you're probably a woman. Hey, great. Dennis Miller said it best: "Women love to fuck . . . but men NEED to fuck." It should not be my problem some prejack seeped into her whorish cervix and the bitch was too stubborn to get an abortion, so on the same note a man shouldn't be held accountable for a fetus reaching the age of eighteen man-years because her tiny, female brain can't comprehend what "pro choice" means when it's coupled with "fifty-fifty." (Don't even get me started on how women should pick one of the 6 mainstream methods of birth control and abide by its specific rules because women don't understand precepts.)
I would never call any man out there a "deadbeat dad." Fuck no. I'd call the woman a "deadbeat fuck." How can someone be a deadbeat dad when he never aspired to be a father figure to begin with? That's like saying a coal miner is a worthless astronaut. Well, no shit, asshole . . . He obviously lacks passion for astronomy already being underground most of his life, but because he rode a plane once or twice, now he has to pay for a passport for two decades? Horse shit. Sure, you can label a gambler a deadbeat because at the beginning of the hand he thought just maybe it would turn out fortuitous, but when it doesn't, he reneges. The same cannot be said for a male fucking some dumb woman because to my knowledge, no man out out there fucks with mild attempts to impregnate a broad unless her father is money'ed up. There are no "loser" dads . . . just the ones who misjudge the women they're sticking it to on any select evening. You don't believe me? Take their logic and throw it right back in their fucking faces.
"Prostitution is the oldest career in the world." Okay. So one would think a whore would find some way to prevent from getting knocked up, right? Otherwise all your
foremotherwhores wouldn't have been able to fuck so much while knocked up/recovering from child birth. This only makes sense since women have been fucking for money since Jesus autographed the first Bible, right? Soo . . . . You would think AT LEAST 1970 A.D. and beyond a woman could learn her body without a male having to pay tax of a fuck already fucked.
For real. Your body should be your fucking problem. Everyone's all typed in to today's rules and such, but I think most of us forget 100+ years ago when every woman knocked up was either making, baking and caking a hut, petrified of not finding a male to take care of her sorry ass. Government empowered every woman you know nowadays; MTV, colleges, Hollywood and Internet porn as well . . . but mostly government. You show an average woman nowadays the wheel, she won't only wonder how it works, but likely bitch because it spins too fast. Onward . . .
It'd be nice to simply say, "Hey, princess, know who you're spreading your legs for. If he seems not a team player and you just wanna get laid, take it in the ass or have a game plan before he sends his best hitter up to bat, because he will not be a franchise player for 18 years. You, retarded feline, should not have allowed him to try out for your team to begin with, so now you're stuck with a batboy and no batter. Tough shit, whore."
If you're a man and your kid's mother is out there being the ponderous, greedy bitch she's always been, I totally feel your pain. I know how difficult it is to hand over money to a woman you often fantasize of stuffing asbestos tampons into until they pop out her eyes. You only have these morbid thoughts because she not only has been a walking charity case, but she always has this opinionated theory that whatever you do is simply not good enough for the child while in your uncomfortable "weekend dad" status.
Give her $300 a month, it could be $400 if you weren't such a piece of shit. You selfish bastard, you! Did you decide to eat something other than bologna last month? The gall.
Buy the kid some New Balance and it's like, "Hey, the kid likes Nikes. If you didn't spend so much money on that tramp you're dating, maybe your kid would have the shoes he wants." What an ungrateful piece of shit she is. How we once had gotten a hard-on for this shrew sets my intelligence back 600 some-odd years.
Bitch: "Our precious little Tommy wants to go to so-and-so school next year. Can't you ask for more hours or get a second job? I want him to go to the best school and he wants to go there."
You: "Maybe you should've taken your own advice, hey? Went to school so you wouldn't be stuck in a shit-fuck job the rest of your life and looking to others for handouts. By the way . . . looks like you got your nails done recently. Maybe you should've put that twenty-five in the kid's college pot, eh?"
The worst are these trivial, pointless parties/celebrations she will throw for the kid.
Within the past 8 years, your baby momma has taken little Jane's report card on a grand tour of her family's homes and yours, basically asking $20 per A or B achieved, but now that little Jane has "graduated" middle school, it's time to hold a party/ceremony, which is essentially just a fundraiser in disguise.
My kid's mom attempted this shit the other week because it's easier to collect donations than to earn honest money (I decided to stay home and sleep.) I've never heard of a party for graduating middle school. In fact, I would never assume a broad would stoop so low as to draw multiple people into a venue as to collect cards with money because her offspring passed shop class and rudimentary algebra, but I was wrong. In my head, one cannot think moving beyond middle school is some reason to celebrate, but as aforementioned, I was mistaken. And why is there no reason to bust out Kool and the Gang's signature anthem? Well, because it's expected to at least be a freshman in high school, isn't it? No one's busting out balloons because I filled my own gas tank last week nor is there a committee forming to publically congratulate a fireman for knowing a compound of hydrogen and oxygen stifles searing embers.
What's next? A greedy bitch of a mother sending out mass invites to Chuck E. Cheese after her kindergartener successfully puts the top back on a can of Play-Doh? Oooooohh, first-grade achiever, hey? Let me bust out a roll of quarters and alert the press. Wha?? You're kid knows his fractions? Wow, pass me a cigarette because I just came.
Maybe we can shut down 1st street for the parade that should irrefutably be thrown after little Suzy is crowned pom-pom champion. R.S.V.P. soon so Mom will know how much to actually spend on food, because a profit must be turned, that fucking avaricious twatwaffle. Mom knows all because she's attended the parent/teacher conferences, wiped shitty asses, reheated McDonald's fries and whatnot. Jesus Christ . . . bitches are lazy.
Drug dealing is the #1 method in which to illegally obtain money to live/not exert one's self and single moms can't even get that right (
Weeds = fiction.) Think back to every person you've ever bought a 20-sack or an 8-ball from. It was likely a male dealer. Why? Because women would rather be handed the money than work in any feasible manner - - single mothers especially. After their food stamps, state dental plans, rent assistance and gas cards, bitches who haven't done shit but birth a bastard still want honorariums and it makes me want to vomit onto their tombs after they've made-out with a motoring chainsaw. Judases.
Your kid's mother is a greedy bitch. Not much you can do except know that if she's not some cheeseburger walrus who seethes at the thought of a Hostess discount outlet, myself and men like me are probably announcing her to the stage tomorrow night. Christ, I used to not like them, but after thinking about it . . . pimps have the greatest job in the world because they don't deal with shit like this.
